"You know what you're doing", said my old boss confidently when I was giving up my contract extension.
I was working at a regional headquarter for an international organisation, with a very well paid job, at a role I was good at and enjoyed. I'd lived in Bangkok for about three and a half year at that point, with an apartment and so many friends. To give all that up, my boss thought I must knew what I was doing.
The truth is, I had no clue what I was doing.
At 25 years old, my ex-boyfriend of broken up with me after living together. My health was at all time low, I was recovering from an operation. I quit my dream job with no alternative. I was about to be unemployed and having to relocate to a new country while dealing with the fall out of another failed relationship. Quarter life crisis!
I didn't know what I was doing next. I only knew that I couldn't continue the same path.
I was tired and exhausted, I needed a reset.
There's no better time to go soul searching, right?
With a bit of savings from my previous job, I decided to go to Tibet.
I grew up with Buddhism influence, and watched a lot of Chinese TV Drama inspired by the novel "Journey to the West". It is a story about a legendary pilgrimage of a Buddhist monk, who traveled to the "Western Regions" (Central Asia and India) to obtain Buddhist sacred texts. Tibet was one of the sacred regions in the movies, and it always had a spiritual appeal to me.
If I was looking for an answer, it'll be in Tibet.
So I booked my flights.
Tibet was beautiful and magical.
I met a monk in his 90s, and he told me he was a monk since he was 7 years old.
I watched a "Monk Debate" ceremony, where the monks shout and dance to banish evil.
I participated in a local pilgrimage.
I saw ancient Sanskrit texts and temples, enjoyed spectacular views of snow-capped mountains and glacier lakes, touched the Everest base camp with my nose bleeding frozen in the cold.
The best of all, was seeing our galaxy glow up in the sky, like nowhere else I've seen before.
But the true medicine, was what my friends gave me when I left Bangkok. They were so sweet and sent me a little box of "Thought Pills". Each little capsule contained a note that they had all written in for me to open one each day. Some were silly, some were sweet. Here are some of them:
It is apparent that you spread happiness
I love how you enjoy life
Every Sashimi reminds me of you
I love how you're so good at Tinder
I love the food you cook!
Thank you Milie, for sharing yourself to us
Love you tattoos!
I like your playlist
Just go and chase your dreams
We love you
I love the way you are
You smile beautifully <3 :)
I like how you enjoy planting I love how chill you are :)
I love your paintings
You have a bright personality
You're always smiling. Keep being sunshine to others :)
I love how generous you are
I love how fearless you are and eager to take adventures!
I love that you sleep naked lol
I love how supportive you are
Come spread some of your positivity in Dhaka
Good luck and be happy
I love how you stay hungry for learning
I miss our team meeting/party at your place
I wish you a happy journey ahead
I love how active you are
I like doing nail polish with you
Wish you all the good luck in the world!
Thank you Milie, for seeing the good side of any situation
...... and so many more.
They were medicine for my heart.
They made me realised that, what I left behind can never be lost.
With each passing day, I was healing.
Looking up at Tibet's clear blue sky, my problems seemed small.
The love I'd lost, my friends and family gave me plenty.
My weaken body, the air and sun replenished it.
My troubled mind, now more calm and peaceful.
I knew that I had to grow my heart just as big as the sky, to be able to hold all the wonders within it.
I found within myself the courage to embrace the unknown, and the confidence I needed for a fresh start.
Traveling alone, is a lonely but empowering experience.
It is when you truly enjoy the companionship with yourself and your thoughts, and hear your subconsciousness whispering its wisdom.
So I encourage you to put yourself out there and explore the world outside and inside of you.
I encourage you to give yourself time and space to look inward to hear what your heart speaks.
And I encourage you to send a little note to your friends tell them what you love about them, no matter how silly that is, because they may be needing it.
Thank you for being here and reading my little story. I hope it will keep your heart excited for a new adventure. I'd love to hear your travel stories. Write to me at hello@milienguyen.art or reach out to me on my social media to connect! Come again for more stories about my personal journeys and inspirations.
From my heart to yours,
Milie
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My favorite piece from Studio Tibet: The Om Mantra with Blue Lotus Mandala (70x70cm)
The Om Mani Padme Hum mantra script painted here is a reminder of generosity, ethics, patience, diligence, renunciation, and wisdom, each value represented by each syllable of the mantra.
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Thank you with love,
Milie
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