I’m now writing this post a completely different person than I was in January 2022.
Just beginning of this year, I was going through a major identity crisis. The pressure of becoming a new mom, giving up my old career and moving to a new country just few months prior was too much for me to cope. No work, no friends, no home, no energy, I felt like I was stripped bare of everything that made me who I was.
There was this voice in my mind that was so loud that it quiets any words of encouragement and support that my loved ones said to me. I distinctly remember my husband saying: “I love you. You’re my everything.”
To which I responded: “I can’t be your everything, because I am nothing.”
I truly believed it. I was nothing.
If you’ve been there in your mind, where your negative voices had won, you know how powerful they can be. There’s no reasoning with them, they just dragged you down into an empty void where you feel numb with anything and anyone. It felt like there was no light, there was no hope, nothing was going to change.
It was then I decided to get professional help. I worked with a coach who helped me process my deepest fears and trauma to heal my inner wounds. I talked with my inner child with an adult mind that helped me realized I’m now no longer helpless, but a mature and capable woman. I deeply reflected what bring me joys throughout my life and the values that I want to uphold as a person.
It was a 5 months journey of very intense personal and emotional work. But with every week passing by I was able to be a little bit more calm, a little bit less anxious, and able to smile a bit more. Slowly the negative voice disappeared, and I was able to integrate into my new life and reinvent myself as a new person.
It is the kind of work that no one could have done for me. It was me that needed to allow myself to receive help and create the space for healing to happen. Only me can bring myself out of the dark place of fear and insecurities within my mind. It has proven to me that each of us is entire capable of our own rescue as well as our own destruction.
In May, I decided to pursue my life long dream of becoming an artist. I announced my new role and started sharing my artworks. It opened a whole new experience of learning and exploring for me.
In June I took my intention seriously and invested in a studio space where can I be focus and creative. With the right tools I was able to experiment and explore my art style.
In July I reconnected with my friends and family from all around the world to celebrate my wedding. It was the most joyous day of my life. It was a reminder that there are so much love for me in this world even though I may have forgotten it.
In August I started working on my first commissioned paintings.
In September I started exercising and eating healthy to regain my strength and energy.
In October I launched “Project Safe Space”, to use my art as a medium to give voice to women trauma survivors and tell their stories to advocate about violence against women issues.
In November I started working on my podcast “Soul Healing with Art”, a series of soulful conversations with artists, healers and impact creators to explore creativity as a key element in our healing journey.
And now in December, my website is ready for commissions opening for 2023.
Along all this journey I have earned so much more than just money.
I found a dear friend and business partner who would volunteer her time to work with me because she believes in my vision and purpose.
I found a wonderful teacher who believes in me and teaches me so much about building a purposeful art business.
I made new friends who share artistic passions with me and reconnected with my old communities with a new identity that is true to who I am.
I became a happier and more present partner and mother for my husband and son.
I gained a new confidence that I never allowed myself to have before: “I can do this. I can follow my dream.”
It is simple yet so freeing.
Don’t get me wrong, any of this wasn’t easy, pursuing a whole new career that I wasn’t professionally trained in or experienced before.
But it is a state of mind that brought me inner peace.
And that’s when I know I’m on the right path.
Looking back at myself in January, this last 6 months was beyond my wildest imagination. But it happened and I’m so grateful for everyone who was there for me along the way. My family who has been my rock, my friends who are my voice of wisdom, my customers who not only supported my small business but realised pieces of my dream, and you, it is only possible because you believe in me and support me, even just by reading this post.
So, that was my 2022, a year of transformation. And I believe you can have one too, in 2023 if you decide that you are ready to make a change. No matter how hard it is, I promise you the reward will be worth it. Trust yourself, your passion and your capacity. You are more than enough to make your dream a reality.
I’m so excited for what’s in store for me in 2023.
Let it be challenge or success, I am ready to learn and grow.
How about you?
What are you most grateful for in 2022?
What are your goals for 2023?
Share with your family and friends so they can support you in your journey,
Or let me know your thoughts because I'd love to support you in your journey too!
I am always available at hello@milienguyen.art
From my heart to yours, I wish you wonderful holiday season and a Happy New Year ahead!
Sending love,
Milie
P/S: I'm sharing here my 2022 in moments of joy. I want to point out that some people like me who can have a very social and active life while dealing with internal struggles, while some others can't. We all process our external and inner experiences very differently.
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